Ventura Photonics
Non Imaging Optics
Radiative Transfer
Optical Systems, Illumination, Solar Energy, Stray Light, Remote Sensing
The Flat Ocean Society was founded in 1980 by the Great Wizard Han$en for the Disciples of
the Equilibrium Average Climate.  This climate is defined by the Sacred Spaghetti Plots as
generated by the Holy Global Circulation Climate Models.  In order to work properly, these
models require belief in the equations of a flat ocean.  There can be no ocean waves and the
ocean surface temperature is determined by the long wave IR (LWIR) flux, not the wind driven
evaporation.  The oceans must also be in an equilibrium state in which there are no oscillations.
The LWIR flux can penetrate below the surface to a depth of 100 meters.  Full membership in
the Flat Ocean Society is required before any disciple can run a global circulation climate model.

Before full membership is granted, the disciples must be properly indoctrinated into the
Mysteries of the Greenhouse Effect Temperature and the Radiative Forcing Rituals.  They must
abandon the Laws of Physics starting with a ritual cleansing to remove any influence of the
Second Law of Thermodynamics.  They must worship the Climate Averages on the Global
Warming Altar and learn the workings of the Greenhouse Effect Temperature.  They must learn
the inner workings of the Radiative Forcings starting with the First Forcings of the Stratospheric
Level.  Once the have solved the equations of the First Level they must descend through the
troposphere and solve the Forcings of the Second Level.  Then they must solve the Third
Forcings for the Combined Air and Land Response.  Next they must learn the Initial Response of
the Oceans and solve the Fourth Forcings.  Now they are ready to enter the Inner Sanctum of
the Equilibrium Ocean and solve the Equations of the Equilibrium Ocean Response and combine
them with the Hidden Climate Sensitivity Constant.  Finally, they may attempt to reach Equilibrium
Nirvana and maximize both the warming apocalypse and the money flow.


The roots of The Flat Ocean Society can be traced back to antiquity where it was part of the Flat
Earth Belief System.  However, following the development of the telescope by Galileo, the New
Belief System was introduced that made the Earth spherical with an orbit around the sun.  The
ancient Flat Earth Believers were part of the Church and participated in the Inquisition.  After the
Reformation they formed a secret Flat Earth Society.  Then, starting in the nineteenth century, it
was realized that the Earth had to have an equilibrium average climate.  This was needed by the
Simplified Mathematics to determine the temperature of the Earth and predict the coming CO
apocalypse.  In order to balance the Sacred Flux Equations, the position of the sun had to be
fixed, so that the absorbed solar flux always matched the LWIR flux returned to space.  This
belief system was first used to predict the CO
2 apocalypse by Arrhenius in 1896.  It continued to
be developed and used on an informal basis until 1967.  Then the magicians Manabe and
Wetherald used an early computer to solve the Sacred Flux Equations and bring them to full
equilibrium for the first time.  They published their magic spells for other computer magicians to
use.  Their work was limited to the Equilibrium Atmosphere.  It was the Great Wizard Han$en that
created the Slab Ocean Magic and added the Equilibrium Ocean spells in 1981.  To help
promote the Equilibrium Ocean and fix the position of the sun, he founded the Flat Ocean
Society.  The Flat Earth Society members joined the Flat Ocean Society and were soon
responsible for Indoctrination.  

Awards and Recognition

The prestigious Arrhenius Medal is awarded annually for outstanding contributions to the Flat
Ocean Society.  These may include advances in the application of the Radiative Forcing Rituals,
novel techniques for the mathematical masturbation of the Sacred Equilibrium Flux Equations,
enhancements to the calculation of the Sacred Spaghetti Plots and outstanding contributions to
Equilibrium Climate Pseudoscience Theology and the Great Pyramid of Bull$hit.
The Sacred Spaghetti Plot
The Radiative Forcing Rituals
The Great Pyramid of Bull$hit
Psudo$aint Greta
In order to promote the Flat Ocean Society, the Great Wizard Hansen established the Flat
Ocean Cadets.  The Disciples went to the schools and recruited schoolchildren for indoctrination
into the Flat Ocean Society.  They were taught a simplified story of the Predictions of the CO2
Apocalypse and shown the Keeling Curve, the Hockey Stick and the Radiative Forcing
Constants.  They learned to worship the Climate Averages and were trained to carry the
message to the denier students.  One of the Swedish students was a distant relative of Burt
Bolin.  She had already read the Equilibrium Climate Legends, particularly the early predictions
of the prophet Arrhenius.  She became a very effective advocate for the Flat Ocean Society and
attracted a wide following.  She was a fast learner and could recite the Legends and Myths of
Global Warming.  

The Great wizard Han$en met Greta when she was in New York to address the UN.  He was very
impressed and wanted to make her a Saint of Global Warming.  Unfortunately, the Vatican rules
on Sainthood were very clear.  You had to have been dead for 200 years first.  Not to be
deterred, the Wizard claimed that Greta was a reincarnation of Saint Joan of Arc.  He went to
Chinon in France to inspect the relics of the Saint and found some mummified bull$hit from Apis
the Bull.  The relics were originally found in an ancient tomb in Egypt.  From this he created the
Bull$hit Crown of Wisdom and the Golden Halo.  She underwent purification to remove any
contamination from the Second Law of Thermodynamics and became pseudo$aint Greta.  She
participated as an Oracle in the ceremonies at the Global Warming Temple.  Here she could
recite the Predictions of the CO
2 Apocalypse from the steps in front of the Divine Bull$hit

In order to travel without releasing any CO
2 emissions, psuedo$aint Greta used a yacht to travel
the oceans.  This created a problem, because the Equations of the Flat Ocean Society did not
allow for any wind.  To overcome this, a secret propeller was installed and the yacht appeared to
move as if by magic.  She travelled to Australia to see the bull$hit coral on the Great Barrier
Reef.  Unfortunately the yacht hit the reef at low tide and damaged the propeller.  The boat had
to be towed to port and the propeller was revealed for all to see.  Closer inspection showed that
the halo was polished brass.  The mummified bullshit was tested using radiocarbon dating and it
was found to be nothing more than regular bull$hit that had been dried and painted with varnish
to preserve it.  Pseudo$aint Greta flew home to Sweden and was never seen again.
Pseudo$aint Greta runs aground on the bull$hit coral
The Climate Sensitivity Constant and the
Equilibrium Position of the Sun

The climate equilibrium assumption requires a special set of virtual coordinates that adjusts the
position of the sun so as to maintain the Sacred Flux Equations in an exact balance.  The LWIR
flux to space can be determined using the spells of old found in the HITRAN Spectral Gospels.  
These have to be combined using the magic of the linear greenhouse effect to get the final
average LWIR flux.  However, if the virtual solar coordinates are not correct, then the average
absorbed solar flux will not balance the LWIR flux.  This is believed to have created the so called
‘pause’ where the thermometers no longer agree with the Magic Models.  Many attempts were
made to adjust the thermometers to match the Magic Models. These included the selection of the
warmest thermometers, homogenization to readjust the older thermometer records and special
high speed electronic averaging techniques to capture the highest temperatures.  However, in
spite of all these adjustments, there was still a residual magic error that could not be accounted

The Determination of the Sacred Flux Balance

When viewed from the surface of the Earth, the sun appears to move across the sky and
disappears below the horizon at night.  In order for the Magic Models to work properly, the solar
flux is transformed so that it appears to come from a fixed point in the sky.  According to the
Astrologers of Old, the coordinates are the First Point of Aries.  This should create the exact 24
hour average solar flux that is used by the model.  Unfortunately, the Earth’s rotation axis has
shifted and the virtual solar coordinates have changed.  They have to be corrected using special
satellite magic.  A Holy Trinity of satellite sensors is used.  The First Sensor looks directly at the
Sun God and measures the incoming solar flux.  The Second Sensor looks downward and records
the image of the Solar Offspring returned to space.  The Third Sensor records image of the ghosts
of the LWIR flux returned to space.  The Holy Flux Terms are integrated to create the Holy Trinity
Gospel Sums.  A set of Divine Calibration Constants is used to adjust the Trinity Sums and create
the Sacred Flux Balance.  Unfortunately the calibration magic loaded onto the satellites can be
altered by the Drift Devils that live in low Earth orbit.  The Predictions of the CO
2 Apocalypse
require that there be a slight energy imbalance that warms the Earth.  The initial values of the
Sacred Flux Balance are iteratively exorcised to remove the influence of the Drift Devils until the
optimum balance is achieved and the virtual solar coordinates are corrected for optimum warming.  
The Residual Errors are taken and imprisoned in the lower levels of the Error Dungeon and any
unexpected deviances are thrown into the Oubliette.  The purified Sacred Flux Balances are
carried in procession and placed on the Global Warming Altar.  Here they are worshipped by the
disciples Equilibrium Average Climate State and incorporated into the Holy Global Circulation
Models.  A new set of Sacred Spaghetti Plots is generated and incorporated into the Sacred
Assessment Report.
The Great Wizard Han$en at the installation of the new Sacred Equilibrium Flux
Balance on the Global Warming Altar.  The figure on the left is pseudo$aint
Greta.  At the rear are the sacred altar panels depicting the Keeling Curve, the
Hockey Stick Plot and the Radiative Forcing Constants.  Above is the Great
Trilogy of pseud$cientific Bull$hit, environmental Horse$hit and political
Pork$hit, the invincible money source.  At the rear is the money web of lies and
on top is the symbol and motto of the Flat Ocean Society.  
The Source of the Residual Magic Error

Starting with the Fifth Sacred Assessment Report, a statistically significant error appeared in the
Sacred Spaghetti Plots.  The Predictions of the CO
2 Apocalypse Temperature were higher than
the Thermometers.  Something was not working properly with the Magic Models.  The Divine
Calibration Constants were checked and verified and none of the Residual Errors had escaped
from the Error Dungeon.  The Oubliette had not been opened.  The virtual solar coordinates
were carefully compared with the previous versions.  When the coordinates were adjusted using
the historic First Point of Aries as the origin, a strange pattern emerged.  There was a 60 year
oscillation that was in phase with Atlantic Multi-decadal Oscillation (AMO).  In addition to the main
60 year AMO cycle, many of the finer features also matched the AMO.  The ancient archives
were searched and the oscillations could be traced back to the start of the Central England
Temperature Inscriptions from the time of the First Thermometers.  There was an error in the
magic scripts that set the virtual coordinates of the equilibrium position of the sun.  The
Equilibrium Average Climate State had been lost.  The ocean was no longer completely flat.  
In order to get more time to study the Residual Magic Error, The Great Wizard Han$en
called for a Conference of the Parties to proclaim the new CO2 Apocalypse.  All the Climate
Magicians and their disciples had to attend as the new values for the Sacred Equilibrium
Flux Balance were installed on the Global Warming Altar.  He then declared a Climate
Emergency and called for increased efforts to reduce CO2 emissions.  The 2 C limit
proclaimed at the last rebalancing in Paris was no longer sufficient.  The new limit would be
1.5 C.  
The Temperature Error in the magic Models
The Proclamation of the new 1.5 C Paris Accord
Note from the Inspector General

Most of the guards at the Error Dungeon were disciples and had to attend the Sacred Flux
Balance ceremonies at the Altar.  The Residual Errors were able to escape and they managed
to open the Oubliette and release the unexpected deviations.  At the lowest level of the Oubliette
they found the Hidden Tricks that were used to create the Hockey Stick Plots.  They all managed
to reach the safety of the Inspector General’s Office.  After a detailed investigation, their story
was confirmed.  Han$en was not a Wizard.  The whole thing was a massive fraud.  The warming
came from the Ocean Oscillations.  Han$en and his disciples were sent to jail until they were
frozen under at least 1 km of ice in the next Ice Age.  
Here are the Climate$hit files that I was able to recover related to the Flat Ocean Society
The Climate$hit Files - Part II